tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post4995794835186068718..comments2023-10-29T20:33:40.544+11:00Comments on stepford dreams: Weaning Baby, Weaning Mamastepforddreamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06788506263665291243noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-45225846510294782852010-02-16T09:20:20.418+11:002010-02-16T09:20:20.418+11:00Thank you for this post. I just googled weaning an...Thank you for this post. I just googled weaning and grieving and found this. It was so comforting to read everyone's experiences. I have felt so alone as my milk has dried up (my daughter is 7.5 months old) despite the fact that I have tried every natural method in the book to keep it going. This happened with my first child too.<br /><br />You are right about the guilt, and you are right about the grief and the loss. It has been an extremely difficult process for me, one that I was hoping I wouldn't have to repeat again after my first child. <br /><br />Thanks for providing a platform for women to support each other! It helped my day immensely!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-56121220367557071902009-05-25T13:02:13.549+10:002009-05-25T13:02:13.549+10:00Yay! I am glad you are both happy again. I wanted ...Yay! I am glad you are both happy again. I wanted to chime in late. I was only able to breastfeed my son for 6 months, and the emotions it brought were surprising! Part of me was relieved to not be literally attached at the breast to my son, but those feelings made me feel awful guilty. I did love the closeness of breastfeeding and the fact that he relied on me. When I switched to formula he took to the bottle right away! Part of me hoped he would cry for me a little, so I knew he missed me, but nope! He went to the bottle and never looked back so that made me kind of sad.Jennifer Plomatoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04128647280210070664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-17034587021153408092009-05-12T21:05:00.000+10:002009-05-12T21:05:00.000+10:00Hi Natalie thanks for visiting my blog! I'm sorry ...Hi Natalie thanks for visiting my blog! I'm sorry you came up against idiots. I know some of my friends and my own mother had similar experiences when breastfeeding just wasn't going to work for them and it is wrong indeed. I'm glad my post was interesting and not upsetting for you. It is such a complex topic, one I never ever expected to be so emotional.<br />I'm glad to say that the milk came back and my Tinker is back feeding again and has returned to her happy little self. Happy baby happy mummy.stepforddreamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06788506263665291243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-1045114344554102272009-05-12T19:11:00.000+10:002009-05-12T19:11:00.000+10:00Hi Stepford Mum!
I just read your post on Mamamia...Hi Stepford Mum!<br /><br />I just read your post on Mamamia and it reminded me that I wanted to leave a comment here ...<br /> <br />I read this post last week and I found it wonderfully illuminating. Breastfeeding and I never agreed with one another - although I wanted it to.<br /><br />Most of my friends breastfed/feed their babies until beyond age of 1 and I have nothing but admiration and a bit of envy for them. <br /><br />I was not able to breastfeed my son beyond 8 weeks and my daughter past 4 and my friends showed me nothing but wonderful support and they were aware of how especially sensitive I was about the topic in the face of quite a few dogmatic "authorities" who showed disapproval at my stopping early. (Even though, once I stopped I didn't dwell on it at all).<br /><br />It was really interesting to read the stress experienced by the women who can feed for considerable months. I never realised and I'm glad I now have this insight.Natalie Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04147297666531354621noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-22260759217372402232009-05-09T18:52:00.000+10:002009-05-09T18:52:00.000+10:00Oh my, I am so with you and understand your worrie...Oh my, I am so with you and understand your worries and sadness. I am a proud mother myself, my wonderful son is 10 months old, and one of the things that can really up my milk supply is eating a mixed portion of nuts every day: almonds, walnuts and raisins combined, and also eating peanut butter (in some countries there are hesitations towards eating peanuts when pregnant/breastfeeding, but it is also being discussed that it might actually prevent peanut allergy...). This really does the trick for me. I don't know if this is useful to you, but I just wanted to share it with you, in case you wanted to try it for you and your little Tinker.<br /><br />Good luck, hope it all works out.<br />And thank you for a great blog - I really enjoy reading your posts :-)Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12405168419962982660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-27472913896337749262009-05-08T19:09:00.000+10:002009-05-08T19:09:00.000+10:00I loved BF so much, and I can even cry seeing anot...I loved BF so much, and I can even cry seeing another woman do it. Beautiful stuff. <br /><br />Keep trying if you can for the next few days. But don't let the guilt get to you if it doesn't work. I felt so hurt when E weaned a morning feed at 11 months! I was in tears. But I eventually worked trhough those feelings and looked forward to breastfeeding another baby hopefully soon.<br /><br />I think also a part of the toughness is knowing they're growing up. And that can be a little hard to see wizz through so quickly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-13977396194476842852009-05-08T11:06:00.000+10:002009-05-08T11:06:00.000+10:00Ady, the term "birth rape" is what the left wing c...Ady, the term "birth rape" is what the left wing crazies use to describe a birth with medical intervention. It is so disturbing to read their perspective on this. Here is one such article: http://www.thefword.org.uk/features/2008/03/not_a_happy_birstepforddreamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06788506263665291243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-17434771039848852442009-05-08T06:14:00.000+10:002009-05-08T06:14:00.000+10:00I ended up writing my own post about this for next...I ended up writing my own post about this for next weeks Thursday Thumps at the Daily Drop. Drop by to see it next Thursday if you can. Hope things turn for the best for both your sakes soon.Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05725881252851352861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-52684392204193036542009-05-07T23:25:00.000+10:002009-05-07T23:25:00.000+10:00If only that was true Vanessa, but with my poor gi...If only that was true Vanessa, but with my poor girl throwing herself on the floor sobbing "moolk please mama please moolk" all day I don't think she is over it at all. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I will continue the demand feeding to get the supply back up for her.stepforddreamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06788506263665291243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-79061901673026749662009-05-07T23:20:00.000+10:002009-05-07T23:20:00.000+10:00I think it is important for parents to never need ...I think it is important for parents to never need their children more than their children to need them. Be strong and let it go; don't feel guilty. She is probably the independent type and that will serve her well in the future. Just my opinion. No judgements. There are so many stages at which we have to figuratively 'let them go'. Weaning, presschool, driving a car, dating...it never ends, lol!Vanessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07142499914381175734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-70994522394556630172009-05-07T20:40:00.000+10:002009-05-07T20:40:00.000+10:00Wow, thank you all so much for these amazing comme...Wow, thank you all so much for these amazing comments. All of them so heartfelt and so personal. Thank you also for the emails, I have thoguth about each and every post and I decided that I'd go back to demand feeding her today in the hope it might bring the supply back up. Unfortunately there wasn't any milk left for her last feed of the night and she is still wailing. Poor thing. Her Papa is in the nursery now trying to soothe her. Shame! Poor little Tinker.stepforddreamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06788506263665291243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-88076074748680425922009-05-07T20:11:00.000+10:002009-05-07T20:11:00.000+10:00I TOTALLY understand. My milk stopped at about 3 m...I TOTALLY understand. My milk stopped at about 3 months. I always had trouble breastfeeding him but kept persevering until I fell sick as well and it pretty much stopped altogether.<br /><br />I also understand the guilty feelings. I wrote a blog post about the guilt I felt a couple of months ago: <A HREF="http://ishandchi.blogspot.com/2009/01/mother-guilt.html" REL="nofollow">http://ishandchi.blogspot.com/2009/01/mother-guilt.html</A>I PROMISE things will get better. You've done an amazing job to breastfeed for 16 months and you can still have lots of cuddle time with your daughter.<br /><br />If I fall pregnant again, next time I'm going to stay in hospital until I can breastfeed successfully. Each time I saw the lactation consultant she would help me and it would work for a little bit but then my son would get lazy again and not attach properly.<br /><br />The guilt I felt was enormous and watching other mothers breastfeed didn't help. I'm not happy to be having to carry around bottles of water, formula, teets etc with me. I just have to keep reminding myself though that I gave it my best shot for as long as I could. Vivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12592230048043163319noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-45994478490307109142009-05-07T16:15:00.000+10:002009-05-07T16:15:00.000+10:00Wow, reading through these comments makes me so sa...Wow, reading through these comments makes me so sad! Unfortunately for me, I was forced to stop breastfeeding my son when he was two months old. A former friend was staying with me & my husband and she failed to mention that she had walking pneumonia, bronchitis, and some sort of nasty flu (we had specifically asked if she was sick/around anyone sick and she lied) and of course, I became ill. Not being able to feed my son was devastating to me and broke my heart because he would turn to my breast and look at me with his big blue eyes that were just so...sad. I was very lucky that my son took well to the bottles & formula we got. We were concerned that the formula would greatly affect his stomach but again, we were so fortunate that the brand we used agreed with him. He's now four and a half months old and thriving but I still miss having that connection. When we cuddle, he still turns in but as soon as he sees a nipple, he gives me his 'are you serious?!' face..<br /><br />I cannot wait to have another baby; I'm just hoping the next time around that no one gets me sick! And I'm positive your Tinker will adjust in time..just be sure to savor the remaining time that you will have while feeding her.DynamosMommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14472075798246026238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-4886159495109632782009-05-07T12:04:00.000+10:002009-05-07T12:04:00.000+10:00noteverstill: you write so beautifully, too!noteverstill: you write so beautifully, too!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03363721320993904584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-76179579233837437762009-05-07T11:49:00.000+10:002009-05-07T11:49:00.000+10:00Breastfeeding is one of those things about motherh...Breastfeeding is one of those things about motherhood that is just so emotional.<br /><br />You have done a wonderful job.<br /><br />Having fed MR D until 2.5 I can say that weaning an older child can be hard as they can express their displeasure in a trageted fashion that really plays on the mother guilt you are already feeling. Let alone the hormonal changes the accompany the weaning process.<br /><br />I was incredibly distressed to have to comp feed mr C, even though I tried every trick in the book to get my supply to 100%. When he weaned himself totally at 12 months I was devastated but it was easier having him wean himself.<br /><br />Miss Tinker is obviously very advanced and she will cope with whatever you decide to do in regards to the breastfeeding. She has loving parents who will support and nurture her.Theoretic Galhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10485143114221667828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-13202449756311944552009-05-07T11:45:00.000+10:002009-05-07T11:45:00.000+10:00and a quick PS: don't feel it's a decision you hav...and a quick PS: don't feel it's a decision you have to make to wean altogether vs intervene to increase supply. Take each day and feed as it comes: you may find as I have that mysteriously your body adjusts to a one-a-day feed for a few weeks so far and countingAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03363721320993904584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-72018521589477149612009-05-07T11:23:00.000+10:002009-05-07T11:23:00.000+10:00You and I are in almost exactly the exact same pla...You and I are in almost exactly the exact same place. My L will be 17 months on the 11th. I never thought I'd still be breastfeeding her - because her older sister quit on me at a mere 10 weeks. So I'm filled with all this awe and appreciation that we're still doing this thing, that she's still giving me the opportunity. I know it's not about vital nutrition now; and I know it never really was, since her sis ended up a formula baby and is now quite the sturdy 3 year old. But of course it's partly about that, about doing the best by her, about avoiding any emotional trauma on her end or on mine. She still LOVES to nurse, as much as she can get. My supply is just really dwindling at this point - and yes, I drink fennel tea, I eat oatmeal, I swallow fennel herbal supplement pills, too. I'm not sure how we'll proceed. My milk supply doesn't seem to be disappearing, just maintaining at a very low level. So I think she'll keep wanting her little snacks for as long as I offer them, which means, of course, that the ball's in my court. I think for now the plan is to have no plan, and go day by day. I know I'm feeling more and more ready to be past this, though, but I also know I'll miss it terribly once it's over.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-55771198930162607102009-05-07T11:17:00.000+10:002009-05-07T11:17:00.000+10:00As ever, you express yourself so beautifully. Ave...As ever, you express yourself so beautifully. Average emotional intelligence? Not likely.<br /><br />Before becoming a mum, I looked askance at breastfeeding mums. I didn't understand the bond they felt, I didn't know how comforting it can be to both mum and baby. I didn't know how hard it can be. <br /><br />I also didn't know that mums can feel guilty about almost anything: a "failure" to breastfeed as much as a "failure" to wean. <br /><br />I didn't know we can be so sure that our instincts are right, and at the same time so unsure about the decisions we make.<br /><br />I was sure a month ago that we had only a few weeks left, and yet we're still sharing breastfeeds once a day. Part of me longs to wear a proper bra, while part of me already grieves for that loss of closeness.<br /><br />I understand a squeemishness about the term "relationship" in relation to breastfeeding, and yet it is an intimate bond between mum and child.<br /><br />I guess it's not over til it's over. I might never know which feed will be our last.<br /><br />Mothering as much as breastfeeding: rarely black and white. <br /><br />I suffered over supply for 10 months, with aching distended breasts dispite all efforts to reduce supply. And yet here we are at 15 months with milk coming ONLY at a once-daily feed time. It's all a mystery to me!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03363721320993904584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-60189960431829280812009-05-07T07:36:00.000+10:002009-05-07T07:36:00.000+10:00I don't read parenting manuals or magazines so I h...I don't read parenting manuals or magazines so I have never heard of breastfeeding relationship or birth rape (no clue on that one!). <br /><br />I guess what's most important right now is how you feel. Your little one doesn't physically NEED breastmilk at this age, and won't be mentally harmed by stopping either. But do you want to stop? If you feel a little bit relieved and are glad that something's forced you to make a decision then I'd stick with the weaning; if you genuinely feel grief and regret then get onto the fennel tea and flapjacks lady! Whichever decision you make is the right one for YOU.<br /><br />I never breastfed my two girls so I can't fully appreciate how you're feeling but I know that horrible sickening tug when you're not sure if you're doing the right thing or not. <br /><br />Hugs xShabby Chickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06346257405989212252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-72540581361848492722009-05-07T07:04:00.000+10:002009-05-07T07:04:00.000+10:00I had to stop breastfeeding under similar circumst...I had to stop breastfeeding under similar circumstances. My daughter was 9 months and actually liked the bottle better. After about a week, I realized how much easier my life was and I felt really guilty. (Night feedings were harder with bottles because of the prep work, but you probably don't have to worry about that.) After about 6 months, I went out and bought new bras and got over it already. Some of my friends would say how disappointed I must be, but frankly the only disappointing thing was the $$ we had to shell out for formula.vin tristehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07290705235863202680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-37073641389338537332009-05-07T06:39:00.000+10:002009-05-07T06:39:00.000+10:00I suddenly have a great desire to wean before my s...I suddenly have a great desire to wean before my son can talk, I don't think I could handle hearing that. I would be a sobbing mess. I had originally planned to let him self-wean but due to how busy and unpredictable life has gotten this last month, he is down to one nursing, just before bed. So far, I'm just avoiding making any decision and letting it play out.Strange Mammahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17307862079212197823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-12214646541889736562009-05-07T06:37:00.000+10:002009-05-07T06:37:00.000+10:00Exhaling a huge sigh. I never expected to feel sad...Exhaling a huge sigh. I never expected to feel sadness when my youngest was weaned. She was the only one of three I nursed and I also hadn't expected breastfeeding come so unnatural at first! I too felt a sense of grief when weaning her. Perhaps a natural mommy feeling - one of the many firsts in a scattering of "letting go" events throughout their lives. Of course, I am no expert and am overly emotional at this time about my children and especially the youngest who I weaned four years ago starting kindergarten in the fall. sniff..sniff..Mommy Gritshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09973867163707669084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-79391193302324584272009-05-07T05:38:00.000+10:002009-05-07T05:38:00.000+10:00If you're not ready to wean yet, why not just offe...If you're not ready to wean yet, why not just offer more often? Breast milk production follows supply and demand. The more she demands from your body the more it will make. Even if you've "dried up". If it was me, I'd offer when ever I could and let her nurse as much as she wanted to.MamaCathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01028195847269742351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-25279781730693173382009-05-07T05:19:00.001+10:002009-05-07T05:19:00.001+10:0016 months old? You deserve a medal in my book!16 months old? You deserve a medal in my book!Auntie Emhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16789154454952658929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3401199010823227072.post-26078830431956077322009-05-07T05:19:00.000+10:002009-05-07T05:19:00.000+10:00I don't have any input here. I'm pregnant with my...I don't have any input here. I'm pregnant with my first and have started lactating. I plan on breastfeeding and letting my little one self wean. I feel bad for you though. I couldn't imagine not being able to breastfeed my little one. It's what I'm looking forward to most.Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15702366949068965928noreply@blogger.com