How to Give Birth

From the UK this week we have learnt two things when it comes to giving birth.

1.) We should not have an epidural.

2.) Our husbands should wait outside.

The first point was brought to you by Dr Denis Walsh, a male midwife and the second point was brought to you by Dr Michel Ordent, a male Obstetrician. You can read the full text of the article covering old mate Denis's views here and our buddy Michael's point can be found here.

What are your thoughts? For me my thoughts are simple. Firstly you must do whatever is in the best interests of the little life you are guarding and then secondly you should do whatever makes you most comfortable. In that order. Pain relief, no pain relief. Husband, no husband. I don't have a view. I think you've got to go with your gut and do what's right for you. *Just re-read that. Get out, I'm a poet!*

Not sure I agree with the sentiment that men should not comment when it comes to advising women how to birth their children, that the absence of female reproductive organs renders their opinion moot. That doesn't make sense to me. It would be like saying female doctors can't advise men with prostate cancer. However a funny comment I read was that men who think women should just suck it up and tolerate the pain in order to better bond with their baby should also suck it up and tolerate the pain of a drug free vasectomy to better bond with their sterility. Nice.

What do you think? Is there are right way and a wrong way and should dad wait outside with a cigar and a maybe a relaxing book?

Paying for Pain

As I sat in the dentist's chair and tried to think of England this morning I think I might have had an epiphany. No, it wasn't the gas. It really wasn't. In fact that is what my epiphany was all about. Not having the gas.

The dentist wouldn't let me have the gas. He said doing a filling in a top tooth makes it too awkward to have the gas tube in the patient's mouth. So I basically had to suck it up and be brave. "You have a baby don't you?" Ummm yeah, so? "So you've been through childbirth you can handle a filling!"

Well, see that's just the thing Dr Chipper Pooface. I have been through childbirth and despite what people say I have not forgotten the pain, in fact I am remembering that pain right now and I think I'd like to take that dental drill and ram it up your chirpy cakehole.

I've found, as I get older I have become more and more resistant to 'being a big brave girl'. The way I see it, life is short why spend time and money on things that hurt? Dammit I wanted the gas this morning.

The twitty nurse who kept calling me Karen and bumping those big ugly sunglasses into my eye said the cost of the gas was double the cost of the filling. I didn't care, I wanted the gas. I did my very best adult pout but it had no impact. Not sure what angered me more at that point- that I couldn't have what I wanted or that my once persuasive pout had become nothing but a tired facial expression on a tired adult face.

A few weeks ago I was scheduled to have minor surgery on my eye under local anaesthetic but I chickened out and cancelled the surgery because the surgeon thought it would be a lot easier to avoid a general anaesthetic. Giving the probing receptionist a half-hearted rambling excuse I cancelled my appointment the day before and then I ended the conversation with- gosh I'm so sorry my baby is crying I really must hang up now.

Thing is, I have had plenty of operations and medical procedures as a child and as an adult and it wasn't until I gave birth to my daughter that I really became a sook about pain. I guess today I just figured, life is short, you can't get moments back so who would rather sit in the dentist's chair in agony having injections into their gums when they could be sitting there high on the happy gas dreaming about marshmallows and pony skin hobo bags?

Bravery is overrated I think. Are you brave? Have you become braver as you've become older or are you like me? A great big giant sook now?