Have I let MYSELF go? Or THAT self go?

Last week I stumbled on upon the blog of SuperKawaiiMama. I must admit my first thoughts were; wow she is so gorgeous and such a great writer. Not often you get that combination. How does she manage to look so good and be a full time mama?

Then, coincidentally the following day I read her post “Why Do Women Let Themselves Go?” and it got me thinking. Instead of bombarding her blog with my essay of a reply I have answered her question here and I’ll link it through.

SuperKawaiiMama is very gorgeous and very glamorous. From her photos I see that she has a lot of beautifully applied makeup, her hair has been set and her clothes are brightly coloured, perfectly cut works of retro art. Her section entitled daily outfit provides readers with a glimpse into her pretty world.

To SKM I’d be her poster girl for “women who have let themselves go” what with my dark coloured clothing, bits of beige and taupe here and there. My often washed but not set hair, my scuffed ballet flats and my scruffy tops and jeans. I certainly don’t wear makeup most days and I never wear heels during the day anymore.To me, I still look maybe a tiny bit stylish but I certainly would fall into SKM's definition of letting myself go. Yes often, I wear whatever I can grab quickly before the little one starts tearing things off shelves or emptying my makeupbox.

So, have I let myself go? No, I do not feel that I have. I think I have let “that” self go.

Which self? The one who valued appearances so highly. The one who got up early to set her hair in hot rollers, apply makeup and squeeze into gorgeous outfits and high heeled shoes. That was not MY self but rather, my appearance. To me the sense of self is a complex thing.

It runs deeper than MAC Mineralize foundation and glittering Jimmy Choos. It is who you are to you, to your friends, your family and the world. What you love, what you value and what you think… for me, it isn’t what I wear or how many heads turn when I enter a room.

Sure, having a baby has meant that even if I wanted to spend 40 minutes on my face and another 40 on my hair, I couldn’t. Why? Because I get so little sleep as it is, I refuse to get up at 4am to apply makeup and blow dry my hair and Tinker won’t sit still long enough for me to do it while she is awake. As for my clothes. Well if I am honest, there are 3 reasons for my glamourless outfits:

1. When I became a mum, fashion, glamour, entertainment seemed to pale in comparison to the depth of feelings I have about life, babies and love now. I’m just not that bothered.
2. Having always been super thin I went from 45 kilos on the day I announced my pregnancy to 73 the day I gave birth, I guess to me no matter how gorgeous the outfit is, I won’t love my appearance until I am back to my old shape. Sure I’m no oompah loompah but to go from an Aussie size 6-8 to 10-12 is a big change and if I am honest I don’t think I’m that worried about it. With my best friend having cancer and my beautiful daughter growing up and amazing me every day, fitting into a teeny tiny dress isn’t really on my radar. Life is short.

3. Practicality and comfort. Painting, cooking, playing in the sand, at the park… none of these things lend themselves to dry clean only outfits and Gucci heels. I do love nice clothes but I don’t enjoy getting dressed up every single day.

So have I let myself go? What do you think? Have you let yourself go? I suppose looking like a million bucks and having heads turn when I enter the room just doesn’t do it for me anymore so in my mind I have moved on. I think of the frum women and the Muslim ladies who wear very modest dress. Have they let themselves go or are they just asking the world to value them for who they are not what they look like?


Thank you SKM for asking this question. It really raises some interesting issues. I like to look nice but I'm not sure glamour has a place in my daily life. It is hard isn't it? To know what to teach our daughters... To value who they are as people not what they wear and what they put on their faces. I have mixed feelings. Tell me yours!

Tinker's Trouser Tips

All Mouth and No Trousers...

Such a funny little phrase, I must use it more. Sounds like a saying that would apply to me I think. Slightly wittier than my woodpecker analogy.

I'm a big fan of wearing trousers, my late Grandad is rolling in his grave I am sure. He was more a Deuteronomy man than a Katharine Hepburn fan!

While I am a big fan of classic smocked dresses for little girls I also love trousers on my Tinker and with her being tall but skinny I have done a lot of trying and buying to find the right trousers.

I thought I might do a little Tinker trouser post for you, with some of my very favourite tiny trousers for stylish tots on the market right now:

These little beauties are by Marie Chantal, Beige Classic Twill Skinny Tessa trousers.

They are so stylish and so cute, perfect wardrobe essential for your little fashionista. Understated but beautifully made these trousers can be dressed up with a pretty blouse or dressed down with a cute tshirt.

You won't find colours that rape your eyes or obnoxious patterns at Marie Chantal, this is the home of classic, elegant childrenswear.

Subtle finishes like the button down pockets at the back make this pair of beautifully made trousers a wardrobe staple for the discerning toddler... or her mama.You can find out more on one of my most-hit baby style sites here!

From one of my all time favourite designers for chic little girls, Ses Petites Mains comes this adorable little pair of trousers Lydia in maxim denim.

So nautical, so stylish and perfect for my Tinker because they have an adjustable waist. Never one to wear a boat shoe, but I am a big believer in nautical. Not over the top "yo ho yo hee hee" but a stripe here and a military button there makes for a classic look that I adore.

I wish they made my size in these trousers because I'd buy the whole store. The buttons are so cute, I am in love! They are so pretty with their relaxed wide leg perfect with a tiny pair of twinkling ballet flats peeping out the front, no?

Friends in high places. It's lucky I have such talented friends, or I'd be lost. My dear friend Wynona has created these adorable cord trousers for her label Ivy Designs. Audrey made from pinwale corduroy is the ultimate in autumn pants!

If you are anything like me you will love the feel, look and warmth of corduroy and pinwale is the cheese! The wales are thin and lightweight so you don't look like a chunky Christmas ornament.

I am a massive fan. The rickrack detailing makes the Audrey perfect for the little one who likes a retro touch to her trousers... or the mummy who chooses for her!

Last but not least is this dose of extreme cuteness.

Velvet and Tweed's Sailorette trousers are to die for. The nautical detailing, the funky wide leg, the beautiful blue fabric...

What more could you want? These are the cutest little spring pants.

Imagine them with a sweet little white top and white sandals or even now in winter you could add a chunky navy knit jacket. Just gorgeous.

This is preppy, heirloom chic at it's best. I adore this store as well. *sigh* I love them all!