Fast Friday Funny - Tinker's Pick

The little Tinker is mad about funny animal videos on YouTube. I made the mistake of showing her one video of a swimming cat and ever since, she demands a new video once a day. Today's video is this silly fat cat dancing. She howls laughing and says "ok now watch it again please" over and over again. So you can thank Tinker for this week's FFF.

Have a great Friday and a great weekend!

Snapshot

I took this picture yesterday. That's my Tinker on the left and her BFF on the right with Nanny. The girls had the most wonderful time at the Playschool concert. They sat on the table together, hugged, kissed, danced and sung together. It was adorable.

This is such a sweet little age for the best friends, they have had playdates since birth and they have always enjoyed being friends but now they are older it is so sweet to see them loving each other. They do swimming together on Saturdays and poor Tinker has been a bit sad because her BFF has been sick for the past two weeks. It is so sweet they way she misses her and asks all weekend about her.

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately that mention the 365 day photo challenge where you take a photo each day for your blog. I'm not sure I can do it every day but it might be nice to post one each Tuesday. Is that boring? Let me know.

We are heading out early this morning so I'll take the camera and see what I can come up with for you. I see that so many bloggers are really talented photographers. I'm not one of them so you'll have to bear with me.

Have a great morning, I'll be back this afternoon.

What's new kitty cat?

Thought I should do another little catch up post for anyone who is remotely interested!

Just like your garden variety nutjob, I am asking myself some questions. You know what they say about talking to yourself...

1.What have you bought lately?

Not a great deal because we are on an economy drive at our house trying to save up for the big garden renovation which I will tell you all about soon. I did manage to grab a few bargains on Saturday at Kirribilli Markets. For the little Tinker I bought this sweet lilac cardigan, handknitted from alpaca wool. Isn't it gorgeous? It only cost me $36.50. I love a bargain.






2. What's on the menu?

Well the other day Stella McCartney tweeted about Meat Free Mondays and I think this is going to be something we will do in our house from now on. My husband and I are both fatter versions of our former selves and today we began our healthy new eating plan to lose some weight. I think Meat Free Mondays will assist in that. I promise to keep you updated (bored) about our new diet as it progresses... if it progresses! I'm not great at sticking to new regimes so don't hold your breath.

Tonight's dinner is this hearty vegetable and lentil soup that works out at $1.25AU per serve!





3. What are you reading?

No books at the moment, no time! Two of my friends are now bloggers so I am enjoying reading their posts. I thought I might share the links with you. It's funny because the nature of their blogs couldn't be more different. Both fabulous mummy bloggers, I think the subject matter will appeal to my lovely readers:

Apathetic Housewife

Super Organizer


4. What's new with Stepford Dreams?


Some of you have noticed I now have the http://www.stepforddreams.com/ site. Not sure if it makes any difference to anything but it sounds cool doesn't it?

Also I'm very excited about our Monday giveaways, so far they have been really fabulous and I'm pleased to say we have lots more scheduled.

If you have an interesting product you think other Stepford Dreams readers would love to hear about, please shoot me an email!

5. What's the Tinker been up to lately?


She is now 18 months old and every bit the tinker. She is incredibly cheeky and ever so beautiful. She really amazes me with her memory and her sense of humour.

I can't help but compare her to other children sometimes and I often feel so lucky to have such a bright and engaging girl. She has always been that way, never one to stare off blankly like a lump of child.

Even as a tiny baby she would really engage with people. Now that she is such a fabulous talker it is even more apparent how clever and complex she is.

Here she is looking up at the navy helicopters that fly over our us all the time. She was saying "Touch heycopter mama? Nooo! Too high ha ha. Touch? Nooo, silly!"





I have just enrolled her in Mandarin classes and I'm awfully excited about it. Learning languages is something I have always loved and I hope it is something my little Tinker enjoys.

The classes are held in a playgroup type format for parents and children and run for an hour and a half with painting, songs and stories. 90% of the session is in Mandarin and they are designed for children and parents who do not speak Mandarin at home. I'm so looking forward to it. We will do a trial session first to see if she likes it and of course I'll share our progress on the blog.


She had her 18 month vaccinations this morning and she was so brave because I bribed her with a jelly bean. It worked. I'm off to wake her up now because we are going to see the Playschool show live in concert with her BFF and her mummy. A fun play date. I will pack the camera!

See you later!

Quiet voice?

Yep it's another playgroup story. Are you sick of these yet? I'm afraid there are few other outings in my week. It's all I've got aside from my almost daily visits to complain to the dry cleaner who ruined yet another Brioni shirt but we won't go there today.

I've been trying to teach Tinker about using her "quiet voice" and until today I really thought the concept was too advanced for her. Turns out she really is the genius I often say she is.

She has a very loud, clear voice and tends to yell a bit, especially when trying to coax the neighbour's cat over for a pat. So each day I try to come up with a new lesson about using the quiet voice but it never ever seems to sink in.

This morning at playgroup there was a dad shouting at his toddler. She seemed to be a bit whiney and to me looked like she just needed a nap. She certainly wasn't making much noise but he was yelling at her. He pointed at my Tinker and said to his kid- "look at that little boy he is smiling and happy. None of the other children are crying. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE LIKE THEM?"

The more he yelled the more she whimpered. So I had to put my calm gentle mummy hat on for a minute. I was tossing up whether to (A) teach him about the quiet voice (B) thump him for calling my baby girl a boy (she was head to toe in pink even her socks were pink) or (C) Offer the kid some cheese to tempt the Dad out of the tantrum (it always works for Tinker)

All the other mums had picked their children up and moved well away from the yelling Dad, a few rolled their eyes, a few shook their heads. He seemed to think they were not impressed with the child. I wanted to tell him it was him not her. I was gearing up to suggest to Tinker that we go and ruin another handbag with the "washable paint" that doesn't wash off when she stood up on the foam block and in her very loudest voice said:

"Naughty naughty naughty dog, quiet voice? Quiet voice where are you?" while pointing at the yelling Dad. Now just so you know, because I am constantly chastising my dogs for barking at people Tinker has learned to say naughty dog. Unfortunately she even says it to people.

Fortunately for the man, the second part of her question was not as clear as the first and I don't think he understood what she was saying. I certainly did so I replied "the man's quiet voice is all gone, maybe if he used it his little girl wouldn't be so upset."

Immediately I felt really guilty. Maybe a bit like that nutjob with the bad hair who criticised my parenting at the shopping centre that day. Who was I to make such a judgmental call? Was I as bad as that crazy bogan on the escalator? I'm not sure what came over me. I was both thrilled with Tinker for understanding the quiet voice concept and furious at the yelling Dad for making his baby cry like that. The dad definitely heard me and he did stop yelling at the toddler but I felt really sheepish and escaped with Tinker to the play-doh table to roll some gooey germy bits of playdoh around the place.

Cringeworthy? Am I as bad as that bogan? What do you do when you see or hear parents being abusive like that?

Simple (sometimes sticky) Things

Here is my little Tinker in the sweet little knitted woollen hat, top and pants I bought at the craft store in Bowral on Sunday. I adore handknitted things especially paired with something really dressy. A little handknitted piece always adds a bit of love to an stylish store bought outfit. I couldn't resist decking her out head to toe in this pink woollen outfit. It is her "leisure suit" to rival my "not to be worn out of the house" velour leisure suit. Stop snickering. I swear, I haven't left the house in it. Ok fine I did go to the letterbox but never over the boundary line.

Yes she is playing with some sticky masking tape. It is a thrilling and complex game. Have I mentioned my child is a genius? I tear off bits of tape and stick them on her and she laughs herself silly as she takes them all off one by one. Then she says "again?" and we repeat the process a few dozen times.

What are the simple things that amuse your little one?

Tinker always loves a peg from the washing line or a key ring full of keys. An iPod or a mobile phone is a sure thing but nothing beats the plastic container drawer. She will amuse herself for ages pulling out the boxes, taking off the lids and then rearranging the cupboards.

My shoes will keep her happy for about 10 minutes. First she goes to the shoe cupboard and chooses a pair. Always a pair she never mixes. Then she takes 5 mins getting them on and then she proudly walks through the house in them clonk clonk clonk. Here she is tonight in some sensible flats:

She also loves a pad of Post-it notes and nothing beats freshly pressed and/or folded washing. There is something magnetic about neatness that draws her in. She must find it, and mess it all up. It is as though she is under a trance. Neatly folded pile of fitted sheets? Perfect.

She tires of proper toys quite quickly but these simple things always amuse her. So I'd love to know what your little ones love when it comes to simple things. I'd like some new ideas for the Tinks.

Holy Grail...my journey

Don't panic, I have not gone all spiritual lovey dovey self aware on you. I am talking about my journey to find what at times has felt like the Holy Grail.

I wanted so much and I travelled so far, ok fine I didn't cross The Bridge but I did sit in a lot of traffic. Nobody seemed to offer what I wanted. Nobody seemed to offer enough.

What am I drivelling about now? Preschool. I am talking about finding THE preschool. Of course for an exceptional child of Tinker's calibre, I knew I would never find perfection, but I had a list of must-haves and dammit I wasn't going to compromise. Yep that's me, that really annoying demanding fussy mummy with the clipboard and checklist on the preschool tour. Alright I didn't have a clipboard but I totally had a list, in my head.

Being the thorough researchy-type that I am (you can take a mummy out of the courtroom but you can never take the years of law school research lessons out of the mummy) I wanted to make sure I covered my bases and saw all sorts of centres.

I started out viewing a preschool attached to a primary school. Not just any primary school, but an "alternative" style school. One without school uniforms, rules (they have democratic agreements instead) and one where all the children play together. 3 year olds to 12 year olds. I liked the philosophy in parts, I liked how homely the environment was, how passionate and interested the teachers were but there was no way in hell my Tinker was going there. I actually burst into tears when I got back to my car, I was so disturbed by the grubbiness, the idea of 12 year olds playing with my baby... and lets face it. I was a legal aid lawyer but I did it in Ferragamo heels, I'm no hippie and nor is the Tink.

Next I saw some not for profit community ones, meh. Then one that is part of a huge conglomerate of child care centres. Meh. Then I saw a nice private preschool that offered french lessons, specialist music classes and a really yummy menu but still, I wasn't blown away. Every day my girl amazes me with her intelligence, her gentle nature (except when she wallops our dogs) and for her I need to be blown away.

After more mediocrity I found somewhere that sounded exceptional. On paper it ticked all my boxes. For those about to start the hunt, I suggest you come up with your own list but in case anyone cares, here is my list (in no particular order)

* All meals provided, must be made on site by qualified cooks, no processed foods, fresh, wholesome and proper hot lunches. No lame sandwiches thanks.

*Stellar reputation and high quality results in the NCAC accreditation

*Extra curricular activities taught by qualified external staff (baby ballet, yoga, French etc)

*small class sizes with above standard child-teacher ratios

*Exceptionally clean and tidy

*Quality equipment and facilities

*Flexibility when it comes to tailoring activities to suit each individual child (some places have hard & fast rules)

*A transition class for 2-3 year olds to ease them into proper preschool classes at 3

*Parking and safe access for cars (I shudder when I see parents double parking on busy streets, it seems so dangerous)

*Kind staff who are passionate about teaching

*A curriculum that is constantly evolving not some tired old bag of lesson plans

*Gardens and vege patches

*access to animals/ class pets

*Regular activities involving parents at preschool

*Photographic observations of the children

*Proper toddler toilets. I saw so many places with grubby adult sized toilets.

Gosh I had quite a lot more but I'm starting to think you are all reading this and thinking I'm a complete nutcase. Anyway you get my drift. I wanted it all.

I am very very pleased to say that I found a centre that offers it all. 3 teachers per class, 3 small classes. Each day they offer a different extra curricular activity with specialist teachers (yoga, ballet, French etc) and they have a lovely art studio where the children can go in small groups 3-4 at a time to focus on special projects different to the ones they do in class.

All the children and staff eat together and the cooks were lovely, they happily chatted to me about the menu and once a week the children participate in the cooking. They have a vegetable garden and they have farm animals and while I was there I even saw a little wallaby. It isn't too far from home and only minutes from the school we chose for her so I hope she makes preschool friends who will also end up at the same school with her.

I could go on and on but I am certain you are all as bored as anything by now so I'll finish up. My little Tink will hopefully (we are on the waitlist) start there when she is 2 and a half. She will do 2 mornings a week building up to 2 days 9am til 3pm. The plan is for her to stay there til she 5 and ready to attend 'big school'. I am so relieved. My husband, not so much. He isn't as happy as I am that I managed to find the highest preschool fees in the country but I'm sure he will change his mind next year when the little Tinker brings home an "I Love Papa" painting or something.

So there it is, my journey to find the perfect preschool. I skipped the bits where I had to bit my tongue so hard it bled while visiting one of the mediocre centres. The teacher had made a big poster and stuck her little charges photos around a banner saying "Your So Special". I'm sorry but I could never send my bunny to a preschool where the teacher couldn't differentiate between you're and your. I also left out the centre where the director munched on a banana while she gave me the tour. Hello, it's not the zoo!



Opening this up for comments, is anyone else going through the preschool hunt? What have you seen? What have you hated/loved?



image credit lillington baptist.com

Talent

A piece of art that only a mother could love.

The picture above was taken today, my Tinker tried her clever little hand at painting at playgroup today and that was her creation. It was quite an ordeal. The paint, the children, the paint, the children. Have I mentioned the wet paint?

I'm not good with mess as you probably gathered when I confessed to arranging spices in alphabetical order in my pantry so toddler art was really a realm of playgroup that we really shouldn't have entered.

While the other mothers were saying "Oh darling use blue for the sea, blue. Oh how pretty that is just wonderful Johnny" I was also saying those things loudly, or something similarly supportive all the while in my quiet-don't-let-other-parents-hear voice I was saying "ok this white cable knit cardigan is hand wash only sweet lamb lets try not to lean onto the paper as we paint it ok?"

Then we had the ordeal of putting Tinker's wet paint hands into this big tub of murky paint water that all the other little wet paint hands had been in and then drying them on a communal towel. Since I'd made no friends at our new playgroup I managed to bite my tongue and hide my horror and even managed some small talk with another mummy while my talented artiste plunged her precious hands into the grubby paint water abyss. Oh I'm so not cut out for ikky work sans anti-bac gel let me tell you.

Anyway I was then faced with a dilemma. The painting was wet and had to dry before it entered my car let alone my house so we had about 30 minutes to kill while it dried. Being the awesome team-player type that I am, I had timed our playgroup attendance down to the minute so that we would be able to leave before the closing bell where (I'm told) all the uber chipper mummies get together with their kids and tidy up all the toys and activities. So not for me.

So there I stood. Mother of the Year wondering whether to ditch the Tinker's first ever painting because there was no way it would dry before closing bell, or whether I'd be the team player and pitch in with the massive clean up. Hell I could have even started the whole group singing The Wheels On The Bus... It was quite the conundrum. I was torn. Tinks and I distracted ourselves with some time on slide and then we read Possum Magic about 16 times. I checked on the painting and of course it was still wet. All 1 square metre of it...

I was gearing up to go, abandoning her artwork at the centre like a girl child in Yemen when Tinker piped up "painting where are you? painting?" so I gathered her up, proudly reclaimed her stellar artwork from amongst the talentless offerings of the other children and marched to my car. That's the kind of gal I am. Selfless, stoic and totally honourable.

Meanwhile I felt a slight pang of guilt about the clean up but when I got home and discovered some wet teal coloured smudges on the grape Dazzle stroller that lives neatly in my car boot I felt that all was fair in love and war. I spent a good 15 minutes cleaning the paint off my car, Tinker got her painting and I'm sure that Kumbaya type mother who had skipped over earlier to jabber a welcome to my daughter in tragic baby talk had happily done my share of the clean up anyway.

Medal? Anyone want to give me one?

Being the Bigger Mama

credit businessblog.net

I really hate that expression "be the bigger person." Whenever people think you should roll over or walk away they finish their advice with "be the bigger person."

I have had a couple of situations lately where I've been told to "leave it! Be the bigger person". Why? Why should I? Am I lesser of a person because sometimes I choose the path of most resistance? Maybe I am.

Let me paint you a picture. My beautiful spirited little toddler doesn't like being tied down. can't blame her. She is who she is and she certainly isn't sedate. She won't sit for long in a pram unless it is moving. Fast. So walks to the park are fine, but meandering around a mall is not fine. Not at all. She contorts and screams and does not stop until she is freed from her Quinny or Silvercross prison.

It is not my fault. I am not her. I am me. So when strangers roll their eyes at me and tut tut at me and say things like "shut that child up" and "what's wrong with you, why don't you discipline her?" I tend to blink back embarrassed tears and wonder why I am so lousy at this parenting gig. That was until a few weeks ago when the Tinker and I were out shopping with my mother and I suddenly grew some spunk.

Tink was walking beside the pram but we had approached the escalator and I needed her to sit in the pram for her own safety. So I got down to her height as I do and I said "it's time to sit in your big girl pram now just for a minute." She pulled away and wailed "noooo big girl pram" so I put my chipper voice on and said "yes it's time for the big girl pram and because you are such a big girl you can even have some cheese!" just as I said this a woman walked up to me and said "pfft. You are pathetic!"

So I put the Tinker in the pram and chased after her. Going fast was just the treat and Tinker started giggling. I called out to the woman "sorry I missed what you said before. I think you were giving me some parenting advice?"
She turned back and glared at me and slowly shook her head at me. The way I might slowly shake my head at a pair of stirrup pants perhaps. "I'm really open to suggestions, I'm trying my best with her, what else would you suggest I do?"
She swore at me. My mother appeared then, apparently her search for Sussan had failed. She was horrified to find me in the midst of an altercation with the woman in the stonewash jeans and bleached poodle perm hair. "Just leave it Carolyn. Be the bigger person."

Nope, no bigger person that day. I was the little person. The littlest person in that whole bloody shopping centre. Littler than my Tinker and littler than the Iggle Piggle toy I'd bought her when she cried near the check-out. I called out to the swearing woman "Really, tell me how I can improve my approach to toddler tantrums, seriously tell me I will take all the advice I can get."
You know what she said? She said "Fuck you, I'm a child psychologist" and then she ran into Big W. That's our Aussie version of Wal-Mart for my American readers.

Now obviously she isn't a child psychologist, or maybe she is? I really feel for the parents forking out a hundred and fifty bucks an hour to expose their children to such an inarticulate therapist if she is. I think she was just some nutjob who picked the wrong mummy to humiliate that day. Maybe I should have just left it, but she was straw that broke this mother camel's back. People are always rolling their eyes at me and criticising me when my Tinker throws a tanty in public and until that day I would usually just look away embarrassed or shrug my shoulders but that cow set something off inside me and I snapped.

Are you the bigger person in these types of situations?

One of THOSE parents

I am one of THOSE parents.




The ones who buy toys at the checkout for 30 seconds of peace, the ones who abandon overflowing trolleys full of groceries metres from the checkout because the tantrum is too loud to continue, the ones who allow their children to "taste" the coffee to avoid having the cup tipped all over them, the ones who smile and nod at strangers who say "teething?" even though it isn't the case, the ones who shake their head and say "she NEVER does this, I'm so shocked" even though it's the 124th tantrum that day...

The ones who sit at the computer at 9.30pm on a Saturday night trawling for the least offensive looking baby leash.





These "harness buddy" backpacks are a great idea. My husband is horrified that I am considering this, but my mother agrees it is essential. My little girl hates sitting in the pram at the shops, she always has even as a little baby she'd scream her head off. Now that she can walk and talk she demands that the pram stays in the car or if she agrees to sit in it she will only last about 10 minutes so we let her walk but it turns into a run and she refuses to hold hands!




This is a photo of me in a harness at Disneyland I think I was about the same age as my Tinker, bit of a grumpy look on my face but that might have been because I had a regular harness not a "harness buddy" with an animal head.

Anyway so I took Tinker to a baby store to show her the "harness buddies" so that she could choose the one she liked best. My plan was to make a big deal of it and then wear it myself so that she wanted to wear it- worked a treat with hats and shoes and tooth brushes so I thought this would be the same.

We went through all the different animals:




I got her to say what each one was and then to say the noise the animal makes. This all worked fine, she called the unicorn a goat but hey she is only 1. Then she smiles sweetly and says "gat?"

-No darling there isn't a cat one, what about a nice dog one? Look at the doggy, woof woof woof, isn't he cute? He is just like Beatrice (our dog) don't you want the dog?

"No." Then I went through all the other options again.

Her reply "meow. gat. meow meow meow".

So I ask the ratty looking assistant- ah excuse me do you have a cat harness buddy?

"No but we have a dog one."

-I know. She doesn't want a dog she wants a cat.

"Well they are all the same really, have you showed her the frog?"

-She wants a cat.

"What about the unicorn, little girls like the unicorns."

-No she really likes cats, I guess I'll keep looking til I find a cat one.

So the woman raises her eyebrows. I know what she is thinking, "spoilt little brat..." she gave me a fake smile and we left.

Oh ok so maybe we didn't leave right away.

I had to buy Tinker a stupid little Easter chick toy first because she wouldn't let go and there were people behind me and I couldn't possibly let her have a screaming tantrum right after the "gat" debacle. Then she'd really look like a brat wouldn't she.

So here I am still searching for a stupid cat harness online. If anyone finds one, let me know.

While you are there being helpful see if you can have a word to my nice neighbours. The good ones next door. They have just put their house on the market and I am panicking because Tinker has this daily routine where we go looking for their "gat" and she waves to him from every window of the house and we sing a song to him when we hang out the washing. I'm thinking maybe I need to get one of these:




I could pay the new neighbours to strategically place it all over their property during the day at set times so Tinker can still wave to the "gat" and we can still sing our song...



Or not...