Alli Crane 1981 - 2009

In loving memory of my beloved best friend, Tinker's adored Godmother.

Alli passed away yesterday after a long and courageous fight with cancer.

Now she can finally rest peacefully.

I will miss her always, forever my best friend, soulmate, Tinker's Godmother.

xx

This photo was taken just a few weeks ago. Special memories.

Fast Friday Funny - Telemarketers

Usually I say "no thank you" and hang up on telemarketers but I think I might have something really special up my sleeve after seeing this amusing video below. Check it out. I think this Fast Friday Funny will definitely make you smile. For the non-aussies, turn the sound up because the accents are rather broad Australian ones so you'll want to hear it clearly.



I will be back later this afternoon. Yes, I know you are all itching to hear who wins the amazing giveaway this week!
As some of you know I have managed to secure an appointment with the famous neurosurgeon Dr Charlie Teo for my beautiful best friend Alli. We are headed there today. Please continue to pray for her, cancer is evil but Alli has a fighting spirit, with all of your good thoughts she will get through.
xx

Let me tell you a joke.

Alli & Me aged 15 in Noumea, roomates at the dorkiest hotel in New Caledonia.

So on Friday the oncologist rings my best friend.

The Dr says: We got the latest PET scan results and I'm not really sure what we can do for you so I'm going to ring another doctor. He is older than me so he might have some ideas. Before our next meeting, see if you can find anything on google as well.

verbatim. No I am not joking.

So we had a little laugh.

What else does one do when their oncologist recommends Dr Google? Or pulls the 'phone a friend' card because HE IS OLDER?!

Times like these... you laugh or you cry and we choose to laugh. Hysterically. It's what we've done since we were 14 see photo above and it is what we will keep on doing through this hilariously funny episode known as Alli's cancer shmancer.

So far through all her surgeries and chemo days and crazy days catching wee in a cup and dodging spew on my collar I have been able to put a funny spin on things and my best friend and I have continued to giggle.

On the odd chance that I run out of material Alli has found us a very funny excursion in a few weeks time. It is sure to give us and you (because how could I not share with my blog?) a very big chuckle.

We are going to a Laughter Yoga session. Yes, a laughter yoga session. What's so funny about yoga? Well aside from the fact I hate yoga with a passion (except in the context of my high maintenance preschool list) and the fact that I'm actually doing it is pretty funny, this is not a normal yoga session. This is a wacky kind of yoga designed to make you laugh. You can read all about it here.

I'm imagining ladies with hairy armpits and orange headbands and men in pastel lycra. We are expecting the participants to be funnier than the activity itself and if our predictions are right then I'll be back here with some funny takes for you as well.

When was the last time you had a really big proper belly laugh?

Cough up cancer money!

"Tissue timing is crucial when you have a runny nose and no nostril hair."

This is what my best friend just said to me. Funny, yes. The fact that she has to have chemo and it makes all her hair fall out- not funny.

Please, please please donate some money. The more money we raise, the more research can be done and the closer we are to a cure so that nobody else has to go through this.

Sure nostril hair can be unsightly, but losing it should be a thing of choice dammit.

Here is the link- the thought of me of all people attempting a 4km run is funny enough, the fact that I'm actually going to post pictures of my humiliation is even better. Worth $5 surely?

https://mothersdayclassic.trickytix.com.au/sponsor/view/1768/carolyn-galvin

Stitches

So there are plenty of things one can master without bothering to enrol in formal lessons. Cooking, I think, is one. Sewing, is not.

Well not for me anyway. I am an absolute dunce and even when I think I have made something half decent it only takes me a minute to either see an awful fault in my latest offering or I happen to stumble upon something one of my friends has made. Seeing the work of my fellow housewives who sew really reminds me that sewing is just not one of those things you can fudge.

It was December 2007 and I was extremely pregnant, extremely hormonal and as high on idealism as I've ever been. My husband asked me what I might like for Christmas. -A sewing machine, I answered. For what? He asked. -For sewing, darling. But you can't sew. -I know. So will you use it? He asked. -Oh yes, of course. The only reason I can't sew is that I don't have a sewing machine. Oh ok, I'll get you one then.

So he did. Days later, our tiny girl had arrived. It was about 40 degrees in the shade, we'd just moved into our new house. We had no airconditioning and about 65 million boxes to unpack. I figured once the house was sorted I'd be able to switch on the machine and whip up some dresses for my daughter, new curtains for the windows and maybe a dress or a skirt for myself.

Seriously.

Months later I unpacked the machine. My mind boggled. So I went straight for the manual. Not much better. Must be the sleep deprivation. Surely it is the baby's fault. I'll try again tomorrow. Nope, still no luck. So I called up a sewing machine shop and paid $40 for a grumpy old lady to show me how to thread the machine, how to switch it on and how to change the needle. If I wanted to actually learn to sew I'd have to enrol in a course and she didn't run courses anymore so that was that. I went home and whipped up a blanket. When I say "whipped" I do not mean for you to imagine any sort of efficient, successful outcome. No, it was pretty shonky.

Since then I have tried to make a dress for my daughter, a number of very wonky soft toys for friends' babies and I have even attempted to mend a shirt of my husband's. Every single thing has turned out badly. I've seen a few online tutorials, I've even unpicked my own clothing to get an idea how things are out together. I just can't do it!

Fine motor skills do not come easily to me. I think I am clumsy, also I am impatient. Either way, I need some serious sewing help. I keep trying to psyche myself up. I remind myself of the many years I spent at university, of my so-called intellect, of the millions of uneducated simple women folk who have been able to sew since the dinosaurs... still, I cannot master this skill. It is time to find a course.

Today I made a doll for my best friend. She isn't very well and needs some cheering up. So instead of flowers or chocolates I have my idealistic hat on for the day. I am a housewife dammit. I should be able to cheer friends up with freshly baked cookies and home made dolls. I have created a home made chemo companion. Her name is Polly and she is very very wonky. She is made of pretty materials so that is one good thing. She also has one of those "cancer bands" like Lance Armstrong. That's got to work in her favour. Other than that, she is another piece of evidence to support my argument- I need to do a course. "Husband, darling... the only reason I can't sew is that I haven't done a course."