As my Mothers Day gift my Tinker bought me an ipod with the arm band so I could wear it during the race in order to cement my image of the uber fit mama. Ok fine, that isn't true it was so I could tune out my internal dialogue while running. I carefully selected a playlist that included such tracks as "Fat Bottomed Girls" (for obvious reasons) and "The Eye of the Tiger".
Approaching the start line it began to pour with rain and within minutes it was torrential. I alternated between worrying about my cancer stricken friend getting pneumonia and my new ipod dying. Fortunately they both fared ok.
Despite my best efforts with the music my internal chatter continued and for the 4km it went like this~
This is actually not too bad. I'm totally fit and cool, and the rain is kind of helpful.
No, no it's not that helpful I'm cold. I'm really cold. And wet. so wet. I wonder if I'll get pneumonia I'm totally soaked now and my feet are squelching. I knew I should have bought proper running shoes. Great my toes will freeze and slowly drop off this is shit I hate this run.
Runners each had a number pinned to the front of our shirts and on the back a dedication card with a note saying who we were running for. I couldn't help but read the notes in front of me. Being the pathetic soppy twit that I am, each note I read made me cry. I had to tell myself not to read them.
Stop reading the notes. You can't cry in a bloody fun run. Stop reading the notes. Look at the ground. No stop looking at the ground you'll totally trip. Surely I've done 1km now? Stop reading the notes.
I had to switch positions and start running on the inside edge so that there weren't people in front of me with notes I could read because as hard as I tried, it was like a train wreck. I couldn't stop reading them and it kept making me cry. I'm not good in the mornings. I needed to focus. Fortunately it was at that point that Fat Bottomed Girls came on and a bunch of fit looking tweens jogged past me.
Ok fatty move it. This is the halfway mark. Brrrr it's freezing, I wonder what the wind chill factor is. You can't even see the Harbour Bridge the rain is so heavy. Maybe I'll be lucky and slip and get stretchered out of here. Suck it up, you don't have cancer. Why is it all uphill now? What a dumb idea, they should have made the uphill bit the start not the end. Run fatty run for goodness' sake 4km really isn't that far. Those poor bastards doing the 8km run...
At the 2k mark I was a bit over it and at that point I happened to run past the 3rd parent so far who was chastising their child for slowing down. It was so awful. There were so many parents, obviously proper runners you know the type that wear those ugly shorts that come up really high on the hip? Who forces a child to run in torrential rain in Winter anyway? In a fun run for cancer. So many sobbing young people being bullied by their parents I was so unimpressed.
I am so going to thump that Dad. How can he speak to his son like that? No leave it it's not worth it. Save energy 1 k to go. Stuff that I'm going to say something. Keep running fatty stop trying to switch the focus. OMG is that lady wearing stirrup pants? Am I hallucinating? Maybe my blood pressure is too low. I'm going to faint I'm really going to collapse. No, they ARE stirrup pants. I know 80's is kinda cool now but that is going too far.
Then my Dad arrived and joined me for the last part of the race. Bless him he knew I'd slack off at the end! Not many people have a 59 year old father who whoops their ass in the fitness stakes. Coming around the bend toward the finish line I saw my husband who did not have the camera ready. He was too busy waving at me so he only snapped me from behind. Probably a good thing really because by then I was looking super red in the face.
Being the fantastic mother that I am, I slept in this morning so had to get ready for the run in record time. I realised I wouldn't have time to hire a timing chip at the race so I set about finding a watch to wear. With only 3 mins til we had to leave I decided it was more important to pack the Tinker some food to entertain her while I ran. So my run time isn't accurate. I had to go off my friend's time and she was after me. It took me about 27 minutes to do the run. I'm quite sure if I didn't waste time pondering some poor woman's choice of stirrup pants and some crazy fit parents decision to force their kid to run that maybe just maybe I could have run a little faster. All in all though it was a good enough effort for me.
The winner of the race in my mind was my best friend Alli who finished a couple of minutes after me and she ran the whole way with cancer, a collapsed lung, hardly any white blood cells, lousy red blood cells, during chemo treatment, in the torrential rain. I was quite prepared to quietly trip her over if she dared overtake me but luckily she didn't. I don't think I could ever live it down if a cancer patient beat me in a race.
So there you go, that was my Mothers Day morning, I got a medal! Following the run I came home to a hot shower, and breakfast made by my husband who not only made his way to the kitchen but actually used the stove. Brilliant effort. Later in the day I taught him how to make me a cup of tea and the Tinker presented me with my other gift. A huge power tool for the garden. A leaf blower vac. I love it. I was at it all afternoon. You can totally eat off the ground in my garden now, not a speck of dirt or a stray leaf in sight.
How was your Mother's day?