Well we all know that a baby changes everything. You have the sweet little coos and first baby smiles and then the first little words and adorable attempts at walking.
You also have the endless daze of sleep deprivation, post baby fatness and a very desolate social calendar.
Being an inanely organised person, I researched all of this in great detail before my tiny little bundle arrived. I was prepared for the late nights, the spew on the shoudler, the bleary eyed walks at 4am... I was even prepared for the post baby body.
One thing I was not prepared for, one thing I could never have imagined is a concept so gross, so ikky and so awful that I am not sure how to word it...
I was not prepared to carry jars of baby poopoo in my darling Prada cream deerskin bowler bag.
I'm not sure anything could have prepared me for that! Yes, the days of the DINKS wasting ridiculous sums of money on bags, shoes, suits are well and truly over but who could have predicted my old life would get such a slap in the face?!
To subject my stylish little friend to transporting such an horrific item really was cruel on my part and I wonder now if she will ever forgive me. Will all my bags turn on me in support of their deerskinned comrade? If there was a War Crimes Tribunal for gross atrocities towards handbags- am I the new Slobodan?
The most pressing question now is- will I have to become one of those true frumpy mummies who carries either a chunky pleather copy of a Kelly or worse still one of those hideously loud hibiscus print Oi Oi things?
To be honest, I just don't know. I'm going to hold a round table tonight. I am hoping my bags will forgive me. After all, they are all I have left. My post-baby body will never allow me back into my beautiful clothes so I resort to slumming it in the height of frumpiness to cover my post baby belly but all the while I carry my beloved accessories to remind me that under all this one-size-fits-all casual wear is a stylish yummy mummy dying to get out.
*Oh and as for my baby girl, she is ok. She just happened to be very unlucky in 08 and she contracted a hideous bug so we need to keep checking the bacteria levels. Noice, huh?*