Thursday, April 23, 2009

Big Wigs... asking questions.


"He is a big wig you know. He lives in America."

-"Oh."

"He is in Chicago, you know he lives in one of those fancy suburbs. Jerry Springer is next door. When I call him on Skype I hear them saying "Jer-ry Jer-ry" in the background. And Oprah, you know Oprah? She is also his neighbour."

-"wow. I'm sorry I left the baby in the car, I've really gotta go."

This is the conversation I had with the dry-cleaner tonight. Verbatim. He was talking about his son and I was lying.

My baby was not in the car. I would never leave her in the car. She was at home with Grandma but I had to get the hell out of the store, he was doing my head in.

Every week I take my husband's shirts in to be pressed. I am never going to do them myself. No way. That's where the buck stops I'm afraid. I may wear an apron but I won't iron his shirts. Why waste an hour per shirt when I can pay$2.50 a shirt?

The dry cleaner and his fanciful stories that never seem to end just keep coming back week after week got me thinking. I am such a talker. When in doubt, I talk. I feel awkward and rude asking questions and prying so I tend to overcompensate and just spill my news instead.

It's not that I don't care or I am not interested I just feel rude prying into others' business. I hate it when people pry a lot but then I reckon people might think I share too much.

As with everything in life I suppose you have to find the balance. Maybe I should try harder to ask more and tell less.

What are your thoughts? Are you someone who asks or tells?

Now before you point this out, yes I realise that *if* my dry cleaner's son did in fact live next door to Jerry he wouldn't hear the sound of the audience because Jerry's silly show is filmed in a studio. I really wanted to say that, but it is probably the 10th time I have heard that story so I was forced to lie about the baby instead of engaging further.

24 comments:

  1. An intriguing aside: Do you think he is lying through his teeth or is his son really making up this stuff for his poor old man's benefit? That's what i would like to know. I promise to write an elaborate post of you as an awesome human being (and three other existencies of your choice) if you are somehow able to find out.
    Regarding your actual question. I always choose talk. I'm a silver kind of person.

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  2. I reckon the old bloke is full of it! A bit of truth here and there and some how he creates a tale and sticks with it. I have heard that one a few times now. He has quite a few in his repertoire, all rather OTT and very annoying.Oh and I am so awesome it's not funny.

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  3. But, you know he couldn't be lying about Oprah. He wouldn't dare, would he...?
    I think this guy might need the fear of Oprah put into him. Sacrilege!

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  4. A wise old owl lived in an oak
    The more he saw the less he spoke
    The less he spoke the more he heard.
    Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?

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  5. Ah yes you will find the wise old owl quote in my previous post- Wisdom & Fashion. Extranjera, you might be right. Maybe it IS a true story?!

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  6. Aw, cut the old man some slack. He's just bragging on his son. Even though his stories may be redundant and boring (and probably untrue) it is sweet that he's proud of his boy. Love your site.

    PS: Extranjeraa, thanks for following. SD? Join the party!

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  7. Haha! Poor guy. Well, true story or not, he really is proud of his son, and like every parent (i guess), he wants to brag about him, though i suspect he got carried away at some point. I think you'll start bragging about your girl too, if you haven't started already. But good getaway line with the 'baby in the car' (note to self)

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  8. I'm an asker, and I have plenty of mates who are tellers so it suits really...

    ...unless I've had a bit to drink, then I'm sure I turn into the kind of teller your old dry cleaning man would long to aspire to!

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  9. I am definitely a teller. I am trying to ask more questions in conversation because I feel I come off looking rather self-involved (when I am quite the opposite!). I concur with you though...sometimes asking does feel like prying. Thanks for the post!

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  10. Hehehe. Ask the dry cleaner to please have his son get you Jerry & Oprah's autographs.

    I don't tell much, but listen well. I love your blog because it brings cheer and chuckles every day.

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  11. Oh Kitten that is funny, I shoudl ask. But then you know I can guess what he'll say. My son is way too busy for that. This guy has so many tales. At first I felt sorry for him, maybe he is lonely. But after hearing the same ones at least 8 times each I am kinda over my pity. Shame so so glad someone else feels the same way. I really must try harder not to be shy about asking more questions. People think- how could she be shy? She has so much to say. Well it is usually because I'm shy that I just let my mouth run off.

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  12. Hey! First off, I love your blog!
    As for the asker or talker, I happen to be neither. I am so shy and worried about being thought of as rude/weird/arrogant/nosey that I can't say anything. It usually takes weeks of being around someone before I can actually have a conversation.... totally kills my social life!
    Take this post for example - 20 seconds to type - 20 minutes worrying about how it was written; if the wording was right; am I getting my point across; do I have a point?

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  13. I am totally with you. I tend to tell more than ask because I feel like I may be prying too. Perhaps we should view it from other people asking US things...I'm pretty open and I don't mind. If I don't want to disclose completely; I'm just evasive and they (normal people) just leave it. Your dry cleaner is F.O.S. Personally, I never know how to deal with people who so obviously are telling stories. Really, I want to say, "How stupid do you think I AM?!" But it's not worth it; I guess it makes them happy or feel 'ok' with themselves. Whatever. Also, I too do not do the ironing. D even takes his own stuff to the dry cleaners-granted; it is on site where he works. THAT works for me!

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  14. OH, btw...when I visited Chicago, my fiancee's daughter pointed out the downtown, sky-rise, apartment that Oprah lives in when she is in town. Doesn't she have a country estate with NO neighbors and all them dogs? Oprah is NOT a suburb kind of chick.

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  15. Tracy - - best rule of thumb for your post is "Am I being myself".

    Stepford - next time you go in, speak non-stop, put your request for your laundry in as an after thought. hehehe Don't give him a chance. But then, the next shirts might have too much starch! Maybe the intolerable talker just wishes his son would call or email. We are such schemers!

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  16. I am a talker, for sure, but have learned that it's best to hold my tongue most of the time because most people really don't like being around a talker (several times people have quite angrily asked me to just "be quiet for five minutes"). I'm also a listener, as in the guy that everybody wants to come talk to about everything in their life - I think people who like to talk actually just like listening, even if they have to listen to themselves lol.

    I'm enjoying your blog, by the way, and am glad I came across it!

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  17. I love your blog :) I just started blogging :)

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  18. I enjoy your blog and thank you for creating it. Have a great day

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  19. I have been trying to be an asker than a teller because I like neither lie or be pried. But I have never been successed since I dislike prying. For my experience, the asker who likes prying only would hurt you or embarrass you,nothing else. So I don't like social life! Thanks for your post!

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  20. I seem to be one of those people that no matter where I go, every stranger within 47 feet feels compelled to tell me thier life's story. So I'm not really an asker or a teller, I'm more like a blank stare-er that says "oh that's cool" every time they pause to breathe. At least you said something believable like "I left my baby in the car", my excuse would've probably been a little more dim-witted.

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  21. Hey Tracy, i hear you, I get the point.

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  22. If I say anything, I try to be considerate and ask a question first...but if I don't get anything elaborate in an answer then I blurt out my own elaborate answer followed by perhaps another question to give the person a second chance. If that doesn't work, I usually run out of things to say and dismiss myself. But that's ONLY and ONLY when I say something in the first place. I'm rather inconsistent, I'm afraid...

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  23. I am an aggressive 'asker', I usually follow up with some highly tuned 'smiling and nodding'. I keep my telling for my blog (which usually involves the retelling of some bizarre anectode I have just heard).

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  24. The old guy is lying. Jerry Springer lives in Sarasota, Florida. For you Aussies, that is the Southern part of the country, Chicago is in the Northern part of the country. Oprah does NOT live in the 'burbs. Feel free to impress the man with your worldly knowledge!

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