Since having my Tinker my diet has changed drastically.
When I was working I'd start the day with my fancy Carmens muesli. Then I'd drive to court and I'd buy myself a coffee at the cafe facing the courthouse. Not the one next door, not the one behind. I was very particular and I only liked my coffee if the older lady with the accent made it.
Then I'd slink down to the cells and see my clients while munching on neatly chopped organic celery sticks and slurping my coffee. Court usually breaks for recess mid morning and I'd have my little parcel of diced carrot and dried fruit while sipping my Evian water.
At lunchtime I'd usually eat down in the cells because time was short. I usually had a salad collected from a particular shop by one of my colleagues. While I was intensely busy I always managed to stick to my diet, and my 28" jeans proved it.
Now for breakfast I have yogurt. I lick it off my pyjama top. That's where it lands when my daughter throws it at me. Morning tea is a chocolate eaten in the pantry so Tinker doesn't see me and demand "choc-choc". Lunch is whatever she has refused, usually eaten cold, with a plastic baby spoon. Afternoon tea? Oh that is a cup of coffee if I'm lucky and she is had a sleep.
Dinner? Usually I have this at about 9pm on my own, in front of the computer. Usually a chocolate bar, a glass of wine, some toast and a piece of fruit.
Nice.
Even the 5 second rule doesn't apply anymore. It is more like the 5 minute rule. Tinker will throw her sandwich on the floor and then it becomes my lunch.
When I am out and about I'll eat anything. Gone are the fussy -I-won't eat-there!-days. I'll eat anywhere, anything. Motherhood does that to you I think. You can't afford to be fussy you have no time for such frivolity.
My little girl on the other hand, is uber fussy when it comes to food. She drives me mad. Basically she lives on yogurt, grapes, toast and cheese. I keep checking for Scurvy but so far so good.
For those with kids, what has happened to your diet following parenthood and for those without kids- sit down and have a fussy meal just for me tonight, ok?
My mother has a similar story. She left the business and government world to marry a preacher and raise my brother and I. She was once the latest designer/runway look. Now shes just a mom and physical education teacher. Wearing shorts and a t shirt every day. Diets don't exist in our house. Mom once did a modeling shoot, not so much anymore.
ReplyDeleteSigh...yes, my diet has gone to hell mainly because I have absolutely no time to think of myself these days.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I'll get to 10am and realise I've fed everyone in the house except me and then dash done something terribly inappropriate for breajfast...then lunchtime comes and I realise I've got nothing suitable in the fridge. Dinner is really the only meal that's nutritionally sound, and that's because I'm cooking for others.
No wonder my muffin top is still hanging around, nine months after having our second daughter...
As a pre-teen I told my mother when I had kids she had to get fat because fat grandmas were the nicest ones. My mom has let me down. Unlike me, she is smaller now than then. But in her defense, she is a great grandma!
ReplyDeleteI can really relate!
ReplyDeleteBreakfast? What breakfast? A GIANT cup of candy coffee gets me through till about 2pm.
ReplyDeleteHave you read Nora Ephron? Your writing is so similar to hers...you must read I Feel Bad About My Neck.
off to grab a handful of chocolate chips for dinner...bye now!
I laughed so hard, I totally understand!
ReplyDeleteDo I have a clone somewhere living a double life? Named Deb?
ReplyDeleteBooks, Heather? Who you kidding? The only books I read have four words per page and usually have squeakers in them. I will look her up though, could just add another book to the "when I get a free momemt shelf"...
ReplyDeleteposted about your post here
ReplyDeletehttp://bebeandalice.blogspot.com
You crack me up C. I totally understand, I get all the leftovers and don't follow the 5 sec rule anymore. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteha ha... a whole life seems to have been said in one blog.. Caring Mom, 28" Jeans, Eating Habbits...
ReplyDeleteVery Humorously written
ahahahah .. love your style, gorgeous. You write so well, have I told you that before?!
ReplyDeleteI'm still laughing...as I nibble gold fish crackers off of the floor.
ReplyDeleteJust aswell I don't have kids! I couldn't even begin to imagine what state I would be in! as I can't cook and I have a huge list of banned places that has been growing longer by the year - most times I can hear my stomach rumbling and looking furtively into the kitchen, wondering what to do. Thank goodness I just love crackers and cheese (any type, any flavour, any time!)
ReplyDeleteps love your ramblings....
(link from Heather at bebe and alice)
First time reader...love your blog! i was laughing so much--i COMPLETELY gave up on the 5 second rule...for me AND the kids. i try to make myself feel better by saying it'll help their immune system, but really it's because giving them dirty food is usually easier than dealing with a tantrum.
ReplyDeleteI learned quickly that threatening the picky eater with "If you don't eat that, I will!" was going to cost me a lot of money in larger sizes of clothing. I've reverted to my mom's method of "If you don't eat that now, you can have it later . . . COLD." But, yeah, I live on dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets and peanut butter and honey sandwiches.
ReplyDeletei'm peeing on myself in front of my computer w/ my "dinner" - crackers, cheese, and a rum spiked iced tea!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is so true! I think once u have kids eating actual food yourself becomes secondary! my daughter is 7 and i haven't had a hot meal since she was born!!!!
My eating habits have definitely changed, Breakfast is non existant and I dont really start the day until I have had a coffee.
ReplyDeleteI have to say though I am still fussy where/ what I will eat LOL. I tend to eat dinner later at anout 7-7.30 once Flynn is in bed. I am lucky to have one of children who will eat anything.
Make sure you look after yourself as well and eat regularly- you will have so much more energy!!!
Hilarious! Sends me back... and I must say I'm glad to be out of this stage! I have fond, stinky, sticky memories, though...
ReplyDeleteHhahaha...... It's great" I understood it clearly
ReplyDeleteSecond First Time Reader, ah ah. I greatly enjoy reading your blog. My son is now eleven but I remember exactly what it's like, having to hide to eat chocolate (he used to shout "Yum" whenever he saw food) and eating his left-overs. Just to cheer you up, let me tell you that they then get so conscious about their skin and figure (oh yes, boys too) that it gets much easier to eat healthy food together.
ReplyDeleteYes everything you said is so true... especially the sneaking treats. As my kids started to get a little bigger and could start feeding themselves more and I didn't have to help out as much then I found that I actually ate a little better, as I would think, they should have some fruit with this meal, so I should to. So it has definitely changed my eating, sometimes for the worse and other times better. :)
ReplyDeleteI will take care of the 'having a fussy meal' part for you tonight! Strangely, I didn't think of this until just now, but I really haven't changed my diet since I was a teenager even after my daughter was born. I eat healthy, but it's a rather static diet lol.
ReplyDeleteMy diet is awful!!! Kids eat yucky flavorless food - mac/cheese, hotdogs, grilled cheese.. really anything with cheese.
ReplyDeleteI still cook some fabulous meals that my hubby and I eat. Then, I freeze up the extras for when I am too tired to cook.
Kind of short order cooking at my house... we all do our own thing. They let me know when they are hungry.
First time reader here too. I completely relate to your entry. My son is almost 7 years old now and we have gone through some pretty weird eating transitions. He has never been a picky eater, I am blessed there, but as he ages he sees his father's horrible eating habits (junk food, fast food, lack of veggies, etc.) and is trying to emulate them. For me...what's food for breakfast, or lunch???? I too start my day and continue it via several cups of java and pray to the heavens that I recieve some sustinance by 7pm. Mind you I cook, but it is gobbled by the men or I am so tired I barely eat anything. Like of regular ingestion has slowed my metabolism but greatly expanded my hindquarters, very sad indeed lol!
ReplyDeleteI adore this blog. As a married not-yet-mom, I solemnly vow to make a vegan curry later tonight, just for you. A kid would never eat that kind of greenish goo, wouldn't you agree.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm joining the writing staff of a new website called "MomsWhoBlog.com". I was wondering if you'd be willing to give a few comments for a story?
Email if you can: ronntica@hotmail.com
Fuzzy meal it is :o)
ReplyDeleteI´m a recent mom, from portugal, and my reality it´s so similar that scares... My daughter is only 7 months, but my life and my diet changed completly... I don´t have time to breath, but it´s all rewarding, and i happily forget to eat if my litle one needs attention!
ReplyDeleteWell I have to admit I had bad eating habits before I became a mom, but they did get much worse after they were born. It is strange, because I am very strict when it comes to my kids' diet. I don't allow much sugar if any and they eat balanced and healthy meals. That's just how it is I guess. We try and give them the best and we take the leftovers :-)
ReplyDeleteI do remember a time when I actually wanted to cook; the meals were tasty and balanced.... now I do 'platters!'.... "um ok you'll eat grapes, rice crackers, a yogurt and some carrot cause you're a good girl who eats anything, and fussy little boy will have a vegemite sandwich, strawberries and a carrot - cause I make him!-... mmmm milk too... OK BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, HERE'S YOUR PLATTERS!" me? ah bother, I'll have a platter with smelly Tuna and lemon. I guess it's still an improvement from the wheat bix cereal my son used to eat 3 times a day! (and I use to wear in my hair every other day!)
ReplyDeleteLove your blog, and all the old-fashioned pics!
ReplyDeleteFantastic blog, real and funny. I'm still childless and after reading that will savour the ability to choose my food while i still can!
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny and the lady is right. you do sound like Nora Ephron. I adore her writing. She is beyond funny. And so are you. I have three children. They have three different eating habits. So I am 5 kg too heavy cos i am eating three different sets of left overs. From bits of chopped up chicken to pieces of home made fried rice to slices of bread lathered in peanut butter dunked in hot cocoa!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd guess what? I can say I was doing any better before I had them!
You are hysterical! So glad to have stumbled upon your blog and will be checking in from now on for a daily laugh. And, I laugh cuz it's alllll true.....
ReplyDeleteYou're brilliant. :)
ReplyDeleteSo far I'm doing pretty good food wise. Breakfast is hot rice cereal with banana, vanilla, cinnamon, ginger and pumpkin. And a little rice milk. Lunch is chicken vindaloo with extra veggies if I'm at work, sushi or mexican food if I'm out and about or whatever I throw together at home. Dinner has been sauteed onions, zucchini and mushrooms with salmon or chicken over pasta. All of this is cold mind you, and ends up all over myself and Cupcake as I try to get it in my mouth without her kicking or hitting the spoon out of my hand. She's 6 months old so I figure I have a ton of time to ditch the 5 second rule and learn to eat kid food. Except that she's allergic to everything and wont be eating much "kid food" anyway.