Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Not Who You Think I Am

image credit flatrock.org.nz

Picking the busiest moment to slip through the sliding door behind a leggy blonde, I covered my face with Good Housekeeping Magazine (ok fine I'm lying it was Hello Magazine) I anxiously looked for a spot far far away from The Target.

The option was either up the back next to a smartly dressed set of Chinese grandparents or along the side next to a group of 12 year old boys waiting for Squad to start. I went for the Grandparents. I figured with the magazine in front of my face I could pass for their badly dressed niece.

"The Wheels on the Bus" had started. I was trying to peer over the story I was reading about Prince Harry (who BTW is now kinda cute... does that make me Mary Kay Letourneau?) when The Target appeared to look my way so I instinctively bent forward and pretended to tie my shoe. This gave the grandparents reason to raise their eyebrows. I was wearing ballet flats. OOps.

No matter, the main thing was that The Target hadn't seen me. Things were going well. It was already 9.15 and as far as I could hear (from the cheap seats) there was no crying to be heard and I may have even seen a smile and heard a laugh at one point.

Where was I? Why was I carrying on like the hot chick from Get Smart at 9am on a Saturday? I was at my local swimming pool. Watching my Tinker and her Papa take toddler swimming classes. Why the disguise, despite the fact that I actually like Hello Magazine? Well I happen to be one of those parents who has to hide out of view whenever my child is doing an activity without me lest she breaks down in tears.

Yes, seriously. Now usually I go and grab myself a coffee and then I hide behind her best friend's mum but this week her BFF missed class so I was forced into solo espionage. It sounds awful doesn't it? The thing is, Tinker actually loves swimming class. She has been going since she was 4 months old and she only cries when she can see me. Sure the answer might be for me to don a swimsuit and actually join her in the pool but lets be honest here. Who wants to get their post-baby body out at 9am on a Saturday when they have a perfectly willing husband? Not me.

So the incognito act it is. I scanned the pool on Saturday and as far as I could tell I was the only one behaving strangely. No other parent seemed to be doing it. So I wonder is anyone else a closet spy or am I all alone with this embarrassing charade?


  1. Have no fear, you are not alone in the game that takes so much skill. Having to hide from ones child whilst trying to keep a watchful eye, even if dear father is with them is something that takes practice and is very rewarding, I do it with my dear daughter all the time. So don't feel embarrassed, invest in a big hat and movie star sunglasses act like your avoiding the paparazzi. :0)

  2. I often don my detective hat and coat...too often. :)
    hey, question for you:
    are the majority of those attending the class with the children the fathers?
    I certainly don't get in that cold unwelcoming pool with my kids...it's always the men..the dads, uncles, grandfathers braving it in their "post baby" bodies!

  3. It's very good to have your children in swimming lessons. Children should learn to love the water. It teaches them lessons that nothing else can.

  4. Not just your Tinker, my lovely freckled face girl child made me (okay she didn't twist my arm but the hysterical crying if I didn't join her persuaded me, along with heightened awareness of the stares of other mommies with perfectly behaved children doing as they were told) attend gymnastics classes....with her...for a month. Finally, I played the evil mommy role and pushed her into the class all alone. She did fine. Of course she is five and I have learned her little game by now and I don't have to watch incognito anymore. I honestly don't know what it is about mommies and their babies but my kiddos are so much more able to do things when they don't know I am watching???? I think it needs further investigation. If it didn't require the energy of thinking I would attempt to look into it more. But I am simply too tired.

  5. hahaha! thats awesome! i'm pretty sure i was reverse. i cried for my dad and not my mom. i know, i'm weird.

    but i'm so jealous of swim lessons. i wish i had them when i was young.

  6. I used to cry when I saw my Mom simply because I wanted to be with her. I loved my Dad and he would let me do things my Mom wouldn't, but if I saw her I wanted to be with her. Maybe that is why Tinker does this? :) If so, take it as a compliment. My Mom has always been my best friend, despite her doing mean Mom things ;)

  7. um, why do you have to dress badly to go incognito? can't you be a well dressed spy?

  8. yer weird, but thats okay, Mom's are SUPPOSED to be weird that way. guess its that thing called love. :-)

    o'course you're also hilarious! :-)


  9. Why Wearing Shoes- Oh I could totally get all zuzhied up but at 8am on a Satruday when I'm whizzing around trying to coax my sloth err I mean husband out of bed and get breakfast into the little one and pack her things for swimming, my bleary eyes appearance is the last thing on my mond!

    I love that I'm not the only incognito parent watching the kiddy activities!

  10. Really you need to let your girl have a special time with her dad that you are NOT AT ALL involved... Stay home and relax...or fold laundry...